Tough weekend

Admin: Juan, we’ve scheduled you to go for an interview next Monday afternoon.
Me: Interview?
Admin: At Shell, for a HR support post – Payroll and Time module.
Me: Huh? Support? Payroll & Time? But I don’t have experience in these modules.
Admin: Drop by the office first so that Steven (one of my directors) can brief you.

I was happily co-training at RHB on Friday evening thinking of the soon-to-come weekend, when I received a call from my office’s Resource Administrator. Happy weekend thoughts ended as a series of emotions seeped in. I first felt really angry with my company. During my appraisal end of last year while I was still in Petronas, it took a lot of courage for me to tell management how I felt. There were two things that were requested:

• No more Security assignments. For more than three years I’ve been building my resume in a direction that I do not enjoy. I’ve become so marketable, that once I’ve been offered a position to earn US$9k per month. That’s quite a lot of money - but I’ve decided to continue in a junior position in my current company cause I wanted an opportunity to switch to HR functional.
• No more support work. Two years plus in a support environment has caused enough boredom and frustration. Feeling bored cause Security is b-o-r-i-n-g and support is s-l-o-w. Feeling frustrated cause I could see my juniors learning the ropes faster as they move from project to project. Though I learnt much during this support period, I believe I could be so much more in a project – by having the stress to complete an assignment within a given time frame.

The admin had the nerve to tell me that they were considering to slot me in for a Security interview. I swear I nearly screamed at her, “Do you want a on-the-spot RESIGNATION LETTER?!?!?” If I wanted another security assignment, I would’ve just said “Yes” to any of those head-hunters that were bugging me all the time!

Learning that I was going to go for an interview in Shell really sucked – BIG TIME. Shell assignments had this reputation of being a black hole; once a person gets hired, their contract will be renewed endlessly. Juan stuck in a black hole doing support?????!!??? *Aarrrghhhhh!* Please… no more support… I don’t want to waste anymore time waiting around for issues to pop up in my mailbox… I want to be in a project! Support teaches bits and pieces but never the full picture. I want to finally have a HR module under my belt – a module that I could really claim to be an expert in.

The biggest joke of all was, me being marketed by the company to Shell as a Payroll and Time (Leave Management) expert. Where as, I know nuts about these modules. Fine, I know about their full processes. And err, maybe whatever that’s in the SAP help file. But I had no configuration experience whatsoever – you can hardly call that an expert :P So, what was I supposed to do? LIE?!?!?

After the anger subsided, I got over the disappointment of my company's insensitive planning towards my career direction and began to reason with myself. “Wait a minute, Juan. You’re being called to an interview. You’re in control of whether Shell would like to hire you or not. Just flunk the technical interview lar”

*insert evil thoughts*. Sigh…

After much turmoil within self, I came to a conclusion that in everything that I did I need to have a clear conscience. A clear conscience towards self. And a clear conscience towards my employer. And so, I picked up whatever materials I could and studied throughout the weekend preparing for the technical interview. I cannot believe my professionalism… Imagine how my weekend was – preparing my hardest for something that I didn’t want. *sometimes I hate myself*

Missed church on Sunday *sigh*. Missed Orang Asli settlement outreach as well *double sigh*. Really great that my cell group members messaged me, being concerned with my absence. And when I told them about my preparation for an interview, I really didn’t know how to react with their, “Good luck for your interview” messages *headache*. But still, am comforted *hugz*.

It’s Monday afternoon – dreaded interview time. Honestly, I was more shaken going for that ‘briefing’ with Steven than going for the technical interview. After pouring out my grievances, I felt that I had indeed handled the situation the best I could. At that point, I knew that the interview had already been scheduled and there was no turning back regardless of how I felt. So, my only concern was to do well for the interview - if the results were successful, I know that my days with this company would not be long. But at least, I would have a clear conscience that I had given my best.

Let me share this principle that I’ve learnt - I take my job seriously as I feel that in small ways, I represent Christ in the marketplace. This weekend, even though every inch of my self-righteous ego screamed out in disappointment, I had chosen to honor Him by doing what is right. The result?

As a consultant going for an interview, we need to market ourselves, choosing our words wisely to project ourselves as an ‘expert’. Turned out - Jonathan, an ex-colleague was my interviewer *gasp!*. He was my senior when I was with RHB Bank 3 years ago. He took one look at me and knew that the ‘Juan’ he knew wasn’t a Payroll and Time expert. Glancing at my resume, he could see that the only experience I had as a HR consultant was with Alam Flora, which started this year. The other interviewer Sharon, was excited when she browsed through my resume and straight away asked, “Juan, we have an opening for Security. Would you be interested?” *faints*

After the interview Jonathan took me aside and told me, “I really admire you for pursuing the career path that you want. As a friend, I’m telling you that this environment is not suitable for someone that’s starting out. You’ll suffer if you get in. You might still have a chance. But I’m telling you that it’s slim…”

And so, as I had honored Christ, He had honored me. He gave me an ex-colleague to conduct the interview. There was no need for lies - my conscience is clear towards myself. I had given my best by preparing the best I could – my conscience is clear towards my employer *hugs self*. Company’s going to be a bit bummed when they hear about it later, of course they would – cause that’s RM1k per day less profit for them. But in the long run, given the proper growth opportunities, I’m confident that I’ll make up for their losses :D