Taking out the trash

*open door*
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*steps out*
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Bham! *door slams shut*
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*looks at what hands are carrying*
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Okay… trash bag in one hand… and err… wallet in the other…
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Err… where are my keys!?!?!?

Sigh… don’t know what was I thinking… Luckily I had my wallet with me and I used the public phone to call my mum who had a spare key. Come to think of it, it has been ages since I’ve operated one of those public phones :P It just got me thinking, ‘Hrm… I wonder what other things that I’ve not been using for awhile, huh?’ Erm…

• Stamps – I’ve not received a single snail mail, which was not a bill for almost 5 years now *hint hint*.
• Line up at the post office to pay bills – Maybank2u settles all my headache.
• Call cab – my only means of transport before I got myself a car.
• Dialup connections – Wifi’s the way to go, man! Cool that I don’t have to hear that annoying connecting modem sound.
• Dot-matrix printers – Ahh… the day I upgraded to bubble jets and inkjets were the days my neighbors started to have restful sleep.
• Alarm clock – Who needs an alarm clock now that we’ve got mobile alarms?

Relatives from Singapore are here for a visit and mum said this to them, “You know what this big prawn headed daughter of mine did last night? She thinks she can pay her house door to open for her.. guahahahahahaha.”

Sigh… I guess I had THAT coming…

When my Heart Runs Dry – Matt Redman

When my heart runs dry
And there's no song to sing
No holy melody
No words of love within
I recall the height from which
The fragile heart has slipped

And I'll remember you
I will turn back and do
The things I used to do
For the love of You
Lord, I'll remember you
I will turn back and do
The things I used to do
For the love of You

You are my soul's desire
You are the hope within
You bring my heart to life
You make my spirit sing

It was funny but very on-the-dot of how I was feeling when Joshua shared about what he was going through, “I am not concerned with that God is doing at the moment. But then, it’s like when we want to walk left also cannot. Want to walk right also cannot. When we finally take a step, we fall into a longkang” *giggle* Just before he broke into this song, my mind was all over the place during worship. Taking in deep breaths to settle my thoughts I began to pray, “Lord, I really need your help for me to focus on you this morning”. However, at the back of my mind, I really began to doubt, ‘Would you really turn up? Even if you DID turn up, what sort of a rebuke would I receive? Would you really fill this empty well once again with your living water?’

Then, “Bham! Bham! Bham!” Everything that happened thereafter just broke everything in me. Is He really worthy to be worshipped in the midst of my circumstance? Tsk tsk… am I worthy to worship Him BECAUSE of my circumstance? Joo Na was reading some scripture *err… I need to find out from where she took it from* and I was thinking, ‘Urgh! I think if there’s an altar call, I will need to respond…’

Then Paulina spoke, “Blessed are those who are not offended with Him. When He falls short of your expectations.” Yes, I was angry. Angry at Him for many things that could change with the snap of His fingers, yet He does not do. Am angry that regardless of how hard I try to do what is right, the results are falling short of my expectation. Is this ungratefulness? *shrug* Am faithfully doing all that he has called me to do, yet I’m just going through the motions of not quitting but at the same time cannot see where I’m going. Is this called strife? *shrug* Am toying with thoughts of quitting, yet at the same time can’t as I’ve tasted His goodness before. I feel trapped… Is this called ‘being short of His grace’? *shrug*

There was no way I could respond to altar call while being bombarded with so many negative thoughts and feelings *groan*. All that could be done was to fall down on my knees in shame. Aih… and I thought THAT was going to be it throughout the service *tsk… tsk…*. Then, Raj laid his prophetic hands on me… aih… and I thought, “Okay.. okay… the rebuke’s coming. It’s definitely coming… here it comes… ” Sigh… but all that he spoke penetrated deeply, truths that I knew but was either hidden or forgotten in midst of all my confusion. His love and purposes for me has not changed regardless of my circumstance, and that He was doing a new thing with me. A new thing? Hmmm… a new level of brokenness and humility, perhaps? With my Worship? With the Orang Asli outreach? A new thing...

Sharon closed the whole chapter by empowering us with the anointing of the Holy Spirit. Which drew me back to the song that we were singing, “I recall the height from which… This fragile heart has slipped… And I’ll remember you… I will turn and do the things I used to do… For the love of You…”

Lord, there MUST be more than this. Perfect the work that you have started within me. I’m so sorry for being ungrateful and proud to think I can live my life without you. Lift me up and help me to focus on you. Whenever I feel that you’re about to rebuke me, all I ever receive is goodness, love, grace and kindness. You are so wonderful… so beautiful… so full of grace… so beyond any words that I could ever make out. Amen.

JSPC Away Day 01.10.2005

It has been more than 20 days since I’ve blogged. Have returned from Sungai Petani, went for my company’s Away Day, finished with RHB training, and even gone for a WHOLE WEEK’s holiday. This is the first time that I took a week off without making plans to go to some holiday spot. Spent the week:
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Meeting up with old colleagues and friends
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Swimming
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Gymming
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Shopping
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and *drumroll*
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SLEEPING! Ahhhh… that’s LIFE!

A little back-track blogging cause wanted to show off some good-time pictures I had with my colleagues during our Away Day *grin*. Oh… and also to share some pictures of the place that we were lodging at. We gathered in the morning for a Treasure Hunt pep-talk. I stepped into the office and suddenly realized, ‘Eh? Why is everyone in their JSPC T-shirt?’ *puzzled* Sigh… cause of all my traveling and lack of Net access, I haven’t received the notification *sob… sob…*A big Hurrah!!! to my dearest admin who whipped an extra T-shirt out of mid-air like a fairy Godmother :D Else I would’ve felt like an outcast throughout the trip *hugs Siew Bun*

These were my treasure hunt team members; Courtney, Pang Hwee and Siew Kee (from left). Siew Kee my director said, “Sigh… I own the company but how come I am the driver wan??” *ahahahhahahahaha!!!* The 4-hour treasure hunt was a great fun; reading the tulips whilst looking out for answers. I remember one of the questions, “Where does Jennifer Aniston do most of her experiments in?” And we found this shop called Rachel Laboratories *beams*

We checked into Avillion, Port Dickson at around 3 p.m. This was the only posing group photo we captured. Sigh… we should have found a bigger set of stairs to fit everyone in. This trip was great cause I can finally put a face to the phone conversations that I’ve had with some of them, especially those from the Penang branch :P But it’s amazing that even though we’ve grown this huge, I pretty much know most of them. Ahahahah… THAT comes with being with the same company for the past 4+ years!!!!

We went down to the beach for some telematches. Thank goodness they didn’t capture any photos of me doing the ‘duck-walk’… it sure ain’t a pretty sight *shivers* Because of the waddle-waddle, my legs were cramped for a week! We had this competition of making the longest line. Was another funny game cause everyone dug into everything they’ve got; shoelaces, coins, tissue paper *so kiasu*. Some jokers started pulling down some coconut trees and insisted that the leaves could be used cause they were going to be part of their dress code for Hawaiian night that night :P

If you look really closely, you can spot me carrying two balls leading my team to make the dash! I had to eat my words cause we weren’t the champion after I loudly screamed to my team members, “Now, WINNING TEAM 3 gather here!!!” *sheepish grin*

Hawaiian night was fun! The food was great – barbequed fish, lamb, beef and chicken with a wide selection of salads, local foods and deserts. Aih… too bad we didn’t snap some food shots – the pics would have made you salivate right at your seats. What’s better than pictures of mouth-watering foods? Babes posing for the camera ;) *Say CHEEEESSSEEEE!!!*

That’s me receiving my prize for ‘Best dressed’ from Mr Ang. To think that I kind of just borrowed the pareo from mummy the night before cause I nearly forgot about the Haiwaiian theme for the night. To set the record straight, I didn’t win cause of what I wore, k… they made us parade ourselves around, and I was just err… very sporting :P Won RM100 Jusco Voucher. Woo-hoo! Ahhhh… spent it last week during my holiday already…kee kee kee kee.

Would you just look at our limbo rock king… Andy!! Really, I was soooo amazed at his agility! I didn’t participate cause erm… pareo’s slit would’ve shown off more that just my limbo skills.

Then, we were off to some karaoke. Look at Sheng Yih doing her thing! Ya go girrrrrllll!!!! Goodness, there were more than 30 of us cramped into that little room. Most of them left after awhile cause maybe it was too hot or they didn’t have enough mike time… and THEN the real fun started *nyek nyek*. It was fun watching the normally serious-looking directors let loose – the funniest was when we were singing Sex Bomb, Noel and I started pointing at Kee Huat and almost on queue, he faked unbuttoning his shirt and did the sexy pose *LOL*.

That’s Mun Shih, my roomie posing from our balcony *smiles*. After karaoke, I didn’t get any restful sleep and decided to enjoy the sunrise. So, I got out to my balcony and was enjoying the sound of waves when suddenly, right in front of me, on an opposite unit’s balcony I saw two lesbians in action. I was soooo embarrassed that I quickly scurried back into my room. In the morning when I told Mun Shih, she screamed at me, “Why didn’t you wake me up!?!?” Shaking my head I said, “Mun Shih… the horror… the horror… it wasn’t a pretty sight… both were so obese, you cannot differentiate which is fat and which are their breasts… the horrorrrrrr” *Juan traumatized*

Ahhh… enough of story-telling while I show off some grounds of Avillion. I never thought that there would such a great, romantic getaway at Port Dickson. Was really pleasantly surprised. This is a picture of the chalet I was staying in. There’s a little love bed right next to the king-sized bed. Doesn’t the beds look really cosy? MMmmm…

Right from the beds… there’s a window that looks into the shower area. Foooh! The shower is open-concept. If a plane flew by and looked down, can see everything. *giggle* I didn’t notice the window initially… when I was just about to shower, suddenly I saw the bed… and I’m like, “Err… I can’t seem to put my finger to it, but something is wrong here…” Hahahahaha.

A sunset view from the beach…

The pool area… They had two pools at Avillion. Too bad I didn’t take shots of the second pool. It was really nice too… cascading waters. Somewhat like how my pool at Damansara Perdana looks like.

These were the chalets that we were staying in. Nice… but personally, I think the sound of waves were too loud. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get restful sleep at night :P

The dining area… doesn’t it look grand?!?

Today’s post is rather long with lots of photos. Guess I’m making up for lost time. Personal apologies made out to Kenneth and David for making them wait for sooooo long. Well, it’s Nuzul Al-Quran tomorrow and it’s a holiday for me again! *Hip Hip Hurray!*